Mike Resurfaces in Italy

In a shocking development, Mike has been sighted navigating the legendary Amalfi Coast. Aboard his latest getaway vessel, reports suggest he is masquerading as a "kapitano," leading a group of enthusiastic yet potentially unwitting accomplices. Previously before seen members include Lena and Alice, however, there are three other new individuals on board. We have no prior information, but have received reports that at least two of the three speak Russian.

The fugitive’s movements indicate a deep appreciation for local culture—possibly as a cover for his true intentions. Sources describe him frequenting Naples, Capri, and Sorrento, indulging in excessive amounts of pasta, pizza, and wine. Locals and tourists alike suspect nothing of the group, however, a cryptic note left behind reads: “No one took an aux cordo,” indicating possible distress. The true intentions remains unclear.

Authorities have obtained disturbing reports of the group attempting to scale the infamous "thousand steps" of Capri. Witnesses describe an initial confident ascent, followed by a drastic decline in enthusiasm, culminating in desperate pleas for spaghetti at the summit. By the time they reached their destination, the crew was reportedly "sweaty and barely functional". But given how well they've covered up previous attempts at training, we fail to believe they were actually this tired at the top.

Concerns mount as accomplice Alice is suspected of leading the group towards undisclosed locations, exhibiting an uncanny ability to navigate the region’s treacherous paths. Meanwhile, the new associate, Nadya, was seen scouting high-altitude restaurants, suggesting an elite-level knowledge of locations with the best visibility. Ultimately, we can only assume that the group was scouting for a high ground to conduct surveillance and serve as a meeting point.

Despite these troubling developments, local enforcement remains powerless. As long as there is wine, sun, and ocean breeze, Mike's operation appears unstoppable. His next move? Unknown.